When it rains...

Some weeks and even months are all about racing Hotwheels, eating cookies, playing with friends and practicing our "please and thank you"s.  Some days are filled up with hugs and kisses, high fives and giggles.  Some Sundays are about worshipping out of the abundance of goodness that's been poured into our lives.  Some Fridays are about picking out the funniest movie we can think of and cozying on the couch to watch it and stuff ourselves with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.  

However, some weeks are all about racing thoughts, eating our words, praying with friends and practicing our patience and endurance. Some days are filled up with hugs and tears, high emotions and sobs.  Some Sundays are about worshipping out of the spirit of sacrifice.  Some Fridays are about sitting quietly on the couch waiting for the Lord to answer our cries for help. 

And when it rains...it pours.  

This last week has been one that falls into the latter category.  For starters, I was diagnosed with a disorder called Allergic Broncho-Pulmonary Aspergillosis.  Basically it's a disorder that causes my immune system to attack my airways destroying my lung tissue.  Left untreated, it could kill me...and fast.  This week has been consumed (almost) with thoughts about treatments and procedures. 

And, today, I was faced with the news that my grandmother has not much longer to live.  Maybe only a day or two.  She's been fighting a long battle with Alzheimer's and is on the last leg of it. She's no longer eating or drinking.  We are now waiting for her body to cease function.  

And it's these weeks/days/months when the boys sense my stress and begin to act out.  I suppose it's an attempt to gain some sort of attention!  Since mine has been stretched out over so many other things that seem more important at the time.

So this is our "as of late".

I know that God has promised to never leave us or forsake us.  He has promised to make everything work out for my good.  He has promised to make all things beautiful in it's time.  

These are the things I hang on to. And I remember how faithful He's always been.  

And I try to remember that playing cars and coloring outside the lines has proven therapeutic for me.  I should do it more often.

What Goes Up...

On days like today, when it's a million and ten degrees outside, we like to visit our favorite Chic-fil-A.  Or, as some like to call it...Christian Chicken!  We choose this place because they have an indoor play area.  And my boys LOVE it!

Until recently, Denver could not master the art of climbing up the tower to get to the fancy tunnels and slide. So, he would stick to playing in the toddler area with the tiny treehouse.  Which, may I say, is super cute!  But, today, he figured out how to swing his chubby little legs just right so he could ascend to the fancy pants part of the jungle gym.  And boy was he proud of himself! That is, until he discovered what Galileo discovered so long ago; What goes up must come down. And it's the coming down that Denver was not so sure about.

What I also enjoy about this establishment is that parents, who are brave enough, can sit in the dining area and watch their children through plexiglass.  They can enjoy their food in a place that doesn't smell like stinky socks.  And that's just what we did. We watched Denver climb up the tower and we cheered for him when he reached the top. All the while not realizing that the plexiglass I mentioned is also soundproof. So, all the accolades were really only heard by patrons of the restaurant trying to enjoy their lunch in peace.  Also, thanks to the sound proof plastic, we were unable to hear Denver's cries for help.  His sad, sad, sad tears.  Once our attention was drawn to him (thanks to a parent who WAS paying attention) we decided that one of us should try to coax him down.

Denver loves slides.  LOVES slides!  But the slide at the end of this toy is one of those corkscrew ones that you can't see the end of until you're there!  And, we discovered later, they are NOT intended for adults!  Turns out, the "you must be under this height to play" sign, was very aptly sized.  Anyway...we could not talk him into going down the slide. He sat there and watched kid after kid after sweaty kid go down and climb back up but he wouldn't do it.  I suppose, he was unsure where it lead.  So...

After some deliberation, Casey decided to climb the tower to rescue our sad baby.  What a man, what a man.  And what a flexible man!  This tower requires you to be very limber...if you're not a 2yr old.  But he maneuvered his way up and brought down the kid.  Once at the bottom, Denver was encouraged to "STAY DOWN!"  But, curiosity, and probably tiny people peer pressure, got he best of him and he climbed back up TWICE!  And, was rescued TWICE more by his ever-lovin' momma.

As much fun as it was (I say this with all due sarcasm), I decided that twice was enough and we "shut the party down" as my dad would say.  Put back on the stinky shoes and went home.

I'm sure that the folks enjoying their chicken sandwiches this afternoon were very entertained by the circus that is our family.  And we were happy to oblige!

ahhh...the life!

"Hey Mom!!"

I remember having our first baby.  I remember, like it was yesterday, looking in his eyes and wondering who he'd be and what he'd be like.  In fact, I still often do that.  I mean...he's only 3!  And I remember, as he grew older, wondering what his first word would be!  And, like every mom, I tried my darnedest to get him to say "momma" loud and clear!  But, as every baby does (it seems), the first word he uttered was "dada".  Now, I was quick to chalk that up to muscle development and experimenting with consonants. But, as every father does, his declared the baby's first word to be "dada". And, so it stuck.

With our firstborn, I had to wait a grueling year before hearing him say my name.  I'm sure it was trumped by "puppy", "ace" (airplane), and the ever popular "deet deet" (his response to my attempt to get him to say "more please").  It took f.o.r.e.v.e.r. for him to say momma.  But I was patient and I acted like I was happy for his daddy.  But, inside, I was anything but!

As he's grown, I've wondered when the "hey mom" phase would hit.  You know..."hey mom...watch this", "hey mom...did you see that?", "hey mom...the baby's peeing on the carpet!".  Yeah, those "hey moms".  And they came!  Boy did they ever!

And our little smarty pants will not accept direct eye contact as a response to his beckoning.  The response must be "Yes, Tanner".  So, this phrase echoes in the house, car, grocery store, bathroom, back yard and anywhere else he finds a question or statement necessary (which is..everywhere!)

And today I caught myself rolling my eyes as I answered him!  All this time I waited for him to make some sort of communication with me and now I'm rolling my eyes at him?  sheesh...

Makes me wonder what my heavenly Father thinks when I've been beckoning Him for the same thing over and over and over again.  I'm certain that He doesn't roll his eyes at me.  I know that He is patient with me!  I am comforted to know that He is not bothered by my calling His name.  And it makes me want to offer the same comfort to my son(s).

You see, I believe that we set an example for our children of what they should expect from God.  I believe that they will model their view of their heavenly Father after what they see in us.  As humbling and daunting as that task is, I believe it's true.  And I would hate for him to conclude that God is bothered by his questions and wonderings and excitement.

So, as hard as it is some days, when the "hey moms" seem never-ending, I will yield to the Spirit in me and continue to answer with a kind, gentle, excited and expectant "Yes, Son?"  Because I know that's how He answers me when I come to Him with a "hey, God?".

Days Like These

It's days like these that are preceded with much hype about getting it ALL done!  You see, on days like today, my boys are in the care of some fabulous people at our church.  A couple days a week they are there and I am here...at home...soaking in the quiet.  And I'm supposed to be doing all the things I can't do when there's a 3 year old in the front bathroom who's "doooooooone!"  Or when the baby is hanging on my leg whining "I hold you...I hold you".  You see, on days like these I should be the most productive.

Some of my quiet days I am busy as a bee.  I can accomplish sooo much and I stand in my living room when I'm all finished and pose like I've conquered Mt. Everest.  Somebody...quick...take a picture!  Then I bring home the youngsters and it's all undone in a matter of moments.  I once heard that cleaning a house while you have toddlers is like shoveling snow in in a blizzard.  I feel that way sometimes. Alas, the toilet still must be scrubbed and, for heaven's sake, someone's GOT to vacuum the dog hair and grass clippings off that rug before I go crazy!

I wouldn't trade these days, or those, for anything though.  I'm content.  I think about the scripture in Colossians 3:23-24 that says "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  So, I'm working at this with ALL my heart!  Whether the "work" be scrubbing the toilet, spraying the kitchen for ants (that seem to really enjoy the baby's leftovers), vacuuming for the umpteenth time this week or just working at being peaceful and still on the couch with my eyes shut.  That IS work!  I am doing all I can to do these things as though I were doing them for the Lord.  I'm not sure that His kingdom has dirty toilets or rummaging ants but...you get the picture.  I can have joy in doing the work when I know that my reward comes from Him.

So, whistle while you work today!  I did!  And the lines I mowed in the front yard are almost straight!  Because I did it as though I were mowing the Savior's lawn. Because, let's face it...if it were up to me...we'd just live in a jungle!

Okay! I'll blog!

So, many of my friends have commented that I should blog.  Honestly, I can't imagine that anyone would give two seconds of their day to read anything I have to say. But...these friends promise me they will!  You know who you are and you can guarantee I will be testing you on the contents of my most recent post the next time I see you.

I am a mother of two beautiful (don't tell them I said that) boys.  Tanner is 3 and Denver is creeping up on 2.  I am very blessed to be able to stay home and raise them.  Although, we look forward with great anticipation to the moment around 5:30 when daddy comes home!

Most of my days consist of feeding, changing and breaking up spats between the two of them. Somedays I don't get a shower 'til noon and somedays I'm still in my pjs when Casey gets home.  But, I do the best I can.

I don't claim to be a cook or a seamstress.  In fact, I had to use my spellcheck to decide how to spell seamstress.  I can cook and I can sew but only for those I love the most. And those who I know will not give a rip if it tastes like applesauce and beans or if it tears the first time they wear it.  And those dear people are my boys.

Being a mother to boys has it's challenges.  But, most days, it's more joy than challenge. Sure, someday I'd love to have a baby girl to call my own.  But, that day may not come.  So, for now, I'll be very content to corral rowdy dirty boys and make sure no toad frogs end up in bed with them.  Although, no reptiles have managed to sneak their way into our house yet!  **knock on wood**

So, this is my blog.  I don't even know what I'm doing so...no one may even read this!  Ha!

Enjoy.